Suffering

Suffering is real. Suffering is painful. Suffering comes to us when we don’t expect it. We don’t deserve suffering. We usually don’t suffer because of any action we have taken or it could be an unplanned or unintended consequence of an action we are involved in. It comes to us. It takes us by surprise. We have to journey through it. We can’t back out of it. It impacts every part of our being and every part of our life. It strips away many layers that have become part of us and our life, back to our authentic self. Sometimes our authentic self has become overshadowed by the life we lead and so we are surprised by our vulnerability that emerges. Suffering challenges who we are and what is important to us. We don’t know how we will respond to suffering, until we are in the midst of it. Everyone responds to suffering in different ways. There is no right or wrong way to respond to suffering and no single path to journey through it. We don’t even think we can get through it. Suffering can impact us in many ways and at many levels. Some of those impacts will be long term and be with us for the rest of our life. Suffering changes us. It changes our normal, it changes our circumstances, it changes our life. Suffering brings with it pain, fear, isolation, doubt, self-blame, loss, grief, disappointment, hurt, loneliness, hopelessness, despair. It is confronting. Suffering robs us. Suffering is difficult to deal with.

What do we need when we suffer? We need time – time to acknowledge and understand the suffering, and the impact of the suffering, time to take time out, to rest – emotionally, spiritually and physically, time to reflect, time to just be, time to journey through the suffering. We need accompaniment – people who genuinely care and are concerned for us and who will walk the journey with us – just being there, checking in with us, supporting us and encouraging us…at the start of the journey, during the journey and after the journey. We need gentleness – we don’t need to be told what to do, we need to be shown empathy and compassion. We need to be loved – to be loved for who we are, and to be shown love regardless of the situation. We need to know we are valued by others, regardless of the suffering and regardless of suffering’s impact on us and its outcomes.

In our lifetime, we will experience suffering. It may come in many forms – the loss of a child, termination of employment, cancer, health conditions, disability, death, the loss of a relationship, the result of an accident, war, poverty, wrongful accusations…many things can cause suffering.

What will be our response? How will we choose to respond? Will we let suffering destroy us? Will we let suffering control us? or will we let ourselves be strengthened as a result of suffering?

Where will we find relief? What will be our source of hope? There are many places to turn to for assistance in journeying through suffering…our family, friends, colleagues, fellow sufferers, health and wellbeing professionals, support services, church, God.

When we turn to God in our suffering, He is with us and for us. We experience Him as our Shepherd, who accompanies us as we suffer. He helps us find rest in our suffering. He gives us peace despite the turmoil and change of circumstances that suffering brings. He brings refreshment to our heart, mind and soul. He guides our path through the suffering. He removes all of our fears. He comforts us. He gives us hope. He brings healing and restores us. He never leaves us.

He says to us ”For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you” (Isaiah 41:13)

It is possible to journey through suffering and have our pain, fear, isolation, doubt, self-blame, loss, grief, disappointment, hurt, loneliness, hopelessness and despair softened, held and healed by the presence, gentleness, love and comfort of God, our Shepherd, if we invite him to journey with us in our suffering.

But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction. (Job 36:15)

In our suffering, can we say like the Psalmist, The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:1-4)

Are you suffering or do you know someone who is suffering?

Jesus says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)